A couple of months ago I jumped at (what I thought was) the deal of a lifetime on Groupon, to visit The Beach House on the pristine beaches of Southern Goa, India, for a cleansing detox yoga retreat. Sounds like a great idea...right? Well, sorta wrong. I wouldn't describe it as a holiday destination per say...
For 5 days, myself and 3 girlfriends pushed our bodies to the absolute limit. We were restricted to 4 juices a day, some quite nice, others not so much (think zucchini and red cabbage juice) into which we had to stir psyllium husks (or as we nicknamed them - bug wings). It made the texture almost unbearable by the end of the week. We also consumed a clear broth and a thick broth (a couple of mine were untouched, I just couldn't stomach it) as well as what seemed like endless tablets and disgusting shots, they were a real effort to swallow. Combine that with 2 SELF ADMINISTERED ENEMAS a day, and you have a recipe for crankiness, extreme fatigue, dizziness, weakness and all round depressive thoughts.
It was hard. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Really. Bloody. Hard. Apparently we were some of the youngest guests they'd ever had, most of the other 'detoxers' were middle aged and looked like they'd hit the Goa party scene more than a few times. I'm just so glad I had the other girls to go through it with, because being alone, I would have lost my mind. The yoga was a bit meh and not really the sort of yoga I'm used to and enjoy, but if I'm honest I was so weak that anything for physical would have seen me go bottoms up!
But it wasn't all awful. There were many informative sessions about body composition, chakras, acids & alkalines and nutrition that I will make further posts about. Of course, during this time my inner science geek emerged! We also had a delightful full body massage daily, which really did help boost moral and my spirits. The scenery was impeccable, and we made the most of it by strolling up and down the white, expansive beaches at least once a day. We were more than lucky with the weather; considering October is usually wet season in India, our days were full of bright blue skies and sunshine (another mood booster!). On our final yoga session (when I was supposed to be 'ooommmming' with my eyes closed) I spotted a school of dolphins swimming along, which pretty much made my week! And I managed to relax (when I wasn't self administering an enema) and read books, despite fantasising about food the entire time!
One day, due to extreme cabin fever, we decided to escape into town, only a 15 minute walk down the beach. In Colva, we indulged in some retail therapy and I also cheated and had a...wait for it.....coconut water! I know, not much of a cheat but I ADORE fresh coconuts and I wasn't missing out. It was exactly what we needed to motivate us to complete our last day of fasting. Plus, we knew where we were going to 'break our fast' on the last day...king prawns anyone?
So, all in all, a 'holiday' was definitely NOT the way I would describe my Goa experience. Maybe one day I will go back and experience Goa in all it's glory - boozy late nights and curries to power me through the hangover! It seems SO tempting!
I'm going to be honest and say there are other destinations I have on my priority list before I return to India. The country itself is beautiful and I enjoyed befriending stray puppies and dodging enormous cows; but constantly being haggled and occasionally spoken to like dirt has put me off returning any time soon.
On a positive note, I do feel cleansed, skinnier and I am tanned!
Namaste Bitches.
V x
